Do you ever get that feeling that you have to cram your summer with as many outings and activities as possible? The feeling that summer is fleeting so you need to make the most of it? Don’t get me wrong, I know that time goes by fast, and of course I want to make the most of these days, but why do my days have to be so full of destinations, or novelty experiences, or events? Why can’t we also fill our summers with quiet moments, or relaxing afternoons where we stay put, or mornings where we go nowhere and don’t actually “accomplish” anything? Summer shouldn’t feel like a checklist, where its value is based on how many things we did, places we went, or projects we finished. I don’t mean to say that those special trips and new experiences aren’t wonderful. I simply mean that the days where we can just BE, without schedules or racing off to the next activity, are also valuable and precious.
Sometimes I struggle with this, especially if I go on social media and see all of the interesting, amazing things people are doing over the summer. And we do some of those things, too! But I like to mark our summer by moments that happen without me even thinking about them… Moments that happen spontaneously and organically, when we just let ourselves do what we need to do in that instant. Whether it’s napping in the hammock, dunking in the river, sitting in the driveway doing sidewalk chalk, having a picnic, or choosing to sit in our air conditioned bedroom and read books for an hour…
I recently had a conversation with a fellow mom about how important it is to do nothing… I felt so validated talking to her, because there is often a lot of pressure to do everything and go everywhere with your kids. Of course I want my kids to be exposed to different things and activities, and I do give my kids those opportunities, but sometimes all we need is to be present and enjoy a day with no plans.
We were talking about how on those days where we don’t have a scheduled activity, we have this urge to get things done or run errands or do something “productive.” That day, we had both decided to ignore those urges… Neither of us went anywhere, except where we could walk from our house, and we just played with our kids. I know we’re lucky because we live in a very quiet neighbourhood where the kids can walk on the street or ride bikes, and we have a small playground nearby, so there are lots of things to do, but we didn’t plan anything. We went outside and played in the yard, then we decided to walk down the street to the playground. We had no timeline or plans and it was so wonderful. I felt revived after that day, even though I didn’t accomplish any “tasks.” My kids and I had such a peaceful time being together with no pressure.
It’s all about balance, which I strive for, sometimes successfully and other times unsuccessfully. We have busy schedules, and I know they will only get busier. But on those days where we don’t have an activity, I have decided to embrace quiet moments. Days where we don’t go anywhere or do anything, but fill up our cups and spend time together. I try to not use my phone as much during these times and let my kids guide where we go and what we do. Then I do my best to let go of everything else, which can be tough! I love this quote and use it as a reminder.
“Rest is not idle, is not wasteful. Sometimes rest is the most productive thing you can do for the body and soul.”
– Erica Layne
Go on wild adventures, but also treasure those quiet moments when you can relax and rejuvenate. Sometimes those days become the most memorable, or they turn into unknown adventures that you didn’t need to plan. Some people need to be on the go more than others, but we should remember that stillness is as important as movement, and sometimes what what we need is less. Here’s to some slow summer days!
“Summer shouldn’t feel like a checklist.”
Yes, SJ! THIS, people, this is the mantra that fuels a restorative time of year who’s we all need because we all lead busy lives. Restorative, that is what summer is all about.